Hold on to your hats, here comes the next rant...

Let's say I drove out to an audition. Let's say it was a five hour drive round trip. Let's say the audition took all of five minutes. Let's say the director barely even looked and maybe mumbled a "thank you" on my way out. Let's say that was most of a tank of gas, parking, and general pain in the assedness of driving anywhere in Massachusetts on a Sunday.

Let's say that was last weekend. Let's say that this coming weekend was going to be rehearsals for this upcoming short/independent/non-paid movie. Let's say that in July there would be seven shooting days. Let's say that as a prospective actor I've held all those days so I won't have to cancel plans in cast I get cast. Nine days, haven't been able to say yes to anything.

What do you do when you've heard nothing?

Not being cast? No big deal. It felt like the part was already someones and they were waiting out the hours. That's fine. Maybe they didn't care for my audition or just felt I wasn't right for the part. I don't care about that either. That's auditioning.

Not being told I wouldn't be used? That's a Big. Fucking. Deal.

I would think it's basic common courtesy. "Hey, sorry we couldn't use you. Thanks for coming out." Is that so goddam hard? Hell, in today's world you do that in an email and you don't have to explain anything or have to listen to sobbing. Is that so fucking hard? I was doing this out of basic goodwill. People like you make me lose that a little at a time and I hate it.

I wrote about this a while back in my letter to independent filmmakers. I will also restate my severe ire at director's who never tell you about progress on movies you've completed shooting. "Hey everybody, this is my monthly email to the cast and crew of blank movie. Had to be at my day job/class/computer crashed so I haven't gotten any work done." Is that so fucking hard too? I hate HAte HATE pestering people, it makes me feel like I'm the one being the dick, and I'm not. It tells me that my time is cheap to you, director, and I'm not part of the process. This shit gets remembered.

A new one I've found is director's who finish the movie and never bother to tell you and/or need seven hundred emails and phone calls to get the fucking copy that you were promised before you shot the thing.

This was supposed to make me less angry. It isn't.

So, readers, the question I have for you is this. Do I email this producer and politely suggest that if ever a movie is done under him/her, it would behoove them to notify those that weren't chosen? Not in an angry email, no that would be far too satisfying. Something polite.

Does that make me the dick actor?

Worst medical-legal jargon I've ever read. Got every little bit of it wrong.

No, really, they suck.

I've had the displeasure of watching two movies that make me feel completely disgusted. The Strangers and Funny Games.

I'm getting a little tired of horror-type movies looking for the 'realness' of the genre. The Strangers, when not mindlessly boring, was nowhere near fun, mindless, offering little in the way of character development, and generally stupid. There was no point to the movie other than to watch innocent people be terrorized and ultimately murdered. There. I spoiled it for you. The good guys die, never had a chance. I have now saved you the nine dollars you would spend in a theater. I would rather watch Friday the 13th 2000 than this.

Funny Games I found even more disturbing. If you check out the discussion on the movie it's a statement about you the viewer. The director (who already made the movie in Germany but felt we would 'get it' better) wants you to believe that you can stop the torture at any time, just press stop.

Bullshit.

I rented this movie to watch a movie, not turn it off. Once again, no development, no reason for it to exist. There's easily a dozen shots that are longer than five minutes, none of which serve any purpose, unless the purpose was to bore me to tears.

Sorry, I rant.

(They all die in Funny Games, too. Just saved you two hours.)

Are These Really Milestones?

My face has finally met the Big Screen.

In September I wrote about my first Big Movie Extra Experience. That movie trailer is here and I am in it for about two seconds. Hold the applause.

I am now addicted to Slings & Arrows. If you do theater, you know all these people. If you feel Shakespearean actors are the most insufferable of all, you'll totally get it, then you'll want to read Hamlet again.

I can't shake this feeling of creative ennui. I'm in the trenches with two different scripts that are on draft two, so everything I wrote reads like complete shit now. I'm working on the shorter of the two just to get it done and out of my head so I can make room for the next great undertaking.

The movie I was supposed to do this summer has ended up not happening due to equipment failure. Several options were proposed but none seemed to be ideal for the production staff so they decided to scrap the whole thing. I think the overall feeling is one of relief. Everybody's got things on their plate, so there's one less thing to make time for. It's irritating that schedule wrangling ended up being for nothing but I don't mind getting those days back.

Another possible film project is working its way slowly to the surface. It has several things going for it. It's local, as in less than twenty minutes from my house, it's interesting, two thirds of the cast are already awesome, and it's local. I am tired of having to drive 2+ hours to shoot from one to eighteen hours just to have to get back in the car to do it all over again. Yes, of course I'll keep doing that. But I would like this one to happen to see what it's like not being ridiculously exhausted when on set.