Chunks

(I have no idea how, but my format goes all screwy when I post pics. Sorry for the mess.)

I was compelled to read through a bunch of my blog last week. I must apologize to you all. I had no idea there were so many spelling/grammatical errors. I'm something of a tyrant about that. Mostly it's because I type and hit publish as fast as I can when I write entries, fire-and-forget. If I read too much I'll have to edit. If I have to edit, fuggedaboutit, I'll hate it, delete, and then you'll never know what's going on in the life of krt, will you?

So today I went through the whole thing with a big red (metaphorical) pencil and fixed it. I'm sure if you've read it already there is no need to check back. I did this because I have a lot of time on my hands.

I have a lot of time on my hands because I got the dreaded nasty stomach virus. I won't go into all the gory details, but it's been a pretty nasty three days laid out on the couch or bed. Not. A. Good. Time.

Here's some stills from December 31st. That's the one where I met my friend B.

Here we are 'brute-forcing' our way through a scene.

B and I bullsh^tting betwixt scenes.

Cast and director of December 31st.

My first extra experience

...is blessedly over. I don't know how so many folks put up with so much crap for so long for so little money. Boggles the mind, I tell you.

(Some of you who read this do quite a bit of extra work, I know. Is this similar to your first experiences?)

Of course, I can't tell you what it was for. Suffice to say, it won't be seen in this country. I 'auditioned' for a spot several weeks ago. I didn't hear anything from the casting office, so I figured I wouldn't keep those days blocked off anymore. I got the call Friday that I was 'hand selected' for the shoot Monday night. Balls. This means a huge schedule workaround, favors called in, long work hours, and headaches.

I'm told what wardrobe to bring. Of course, I own none of this stuff, so I have to go shopping. Honestly, if people didn't buy me clothes to wear I'd be the lamest dresser around. I have no concept of clothes other than comfort and covering the naughty bits when littl'uns are around. So I shop.

I'm at work yesterday when I get the call saying that I need more stuff. Great. Oh, that was four hours before I was supposed to be there. Luckily, a friend nearby had some stuff I could use, and I'm off.

Now I'm pretty much expecting that 'hand selected' means 'in the pile' and I wasn't disappointed. There were at least 200 people there. Probably more. Wardrobe checked my other outfit and decided it was 'too wintery.' At least, I thought, the stuff I bought will go to good use.

No one told me it was an outside shoot.

Thank the stars my friend loaned me the 'too wintery' stuff cause when the cameras weren't rolling, it was on. One quick setup right after I arrive then back to holding.

Holding I must talk about. As an extra newbie, I spoke very little, taking it all in. There seemed to be a lot of friends from other shoots there. I didn't know it was a hobby for some folks. Everyone had their 'in' to Hollywood or Broadway, and were just waiting for it to come through. And, I love this part, there seemed to be a loudmouth meatball for every 30 people. I sat for two hours pretending to read a book, listening to this one cat. He was without doubt the most full of sh$t person I have ever heard in my life, and I've heard a lot of bullsh%tters in my day. This guy started off a group conversation, then latched on to anything that was said and was a complete expert on it. In quick retrospect, he pontificated about 300, the original Spartans (He was completely wrong, I know because I've read more about them than just the Wikipedia entry.), Japan's Bushido code (again, horribly wrong), how to make it as an extra, the disadvantages of volunteering, his great success as a standup, how much you should be paid, called out another comic and berated him for not performing in front of us all (not that he did any of his own material) and civil service/emergency services (once again, completely wrong). I wished someone was watching me. I could not read my book because every time his mouth opened, the dumbest thing came out of it, even dumber than the last thing. I was either wide eyed or shaking my head.

But here's what gets me most. The reason he was able to do this for several hours was because...i still can't believe it myself...people were listening to him. REALLY. Like, he held court for two hours and people sat there in thrall as if they came to the Greek forum to listen to Plato or some sh^t. Boggles. The. Mind.

Finally we're called to set. Outside. Basically cheering at a car. For four hours. In the cold. After two hours they started to say we could go back to holding to warm up, but realized a bunch of people were ready to give up on the money and leave, so they decided against it. This was a non union shoot. OUR craft service was a cooler full of water and some assorted chips. THEIR craft service was, well, craft service. Three and a half hours in most of the crew takes a break and gets coffee and tea and pleasurably sips at it right in front of us. Bastards. Those four hours I had to stand in a group of meatballs who felt that apparently the dumbest thing to say was the perfect thing to shout. Sigh.

We finished around 1:30 am. I get lost in Boston, get pulled over because apparently being lost looks like you're drunk. Sweet talk not one but two state troopers out of a ticket and head home. Thank god for rumble strips. Bed: 4am.

I'm not so sure if I like extra work. I'm not so sure I like this casting office, especially after finding out that the money we're actually getting is less than half the money announced at the audition.

Hmmm...union?

Finally finished this blog. Read it.

There's always one...

Isn't it awesome when you wake up early, ready for the day ahead? You know, early enough to get a bunch of stuff done. Have an extra cup of coffee. Don't pay attention to that little worry that you've forgotten something important. The clock says you're just fine. Isn't it awesome when the realization that it's SPRING F&#%ING AHEAD time kind of sinks over you like someone cracked an egg on your head? Yeah, today, I was that guy.

I saw 300 yesterday. I've been waiting for this to come out since I heard about it way back in October. Not only is it one of the most ultimate-badass stories of all time, Zack Snyder directed it. I'm growing to love his work.

I'm excited to say this flick absolutely gave me everything I wanted. Great drama, awesome action. (I was not there for the oiled-mostly-naked dudes thing.) Oscar-worthy? No. This is a highly stylized movie. Nothing is left for granted. Almost every shot is some kind of effect shot. I know some people think it's overkill, but I for one loved it. It was a great action movie sandwich that I greedily ate every bite of.

Can't wait for Hot Fuzz.

The Crucible still proves to be great fun. Just so everyone knows, I am having immense fun and I'm being fulfilled in my 'serious' drama quota. I just crack funny all the time at rehearsal cause, um, that's what I do. Funny stuff appears in front of me all the time. I just seem to be the only one who notices.

Case in point. There's a line in the show that goes something like, "she screamed a scream that a bull would weep to hear." (Now, so you know, there is absolutely NO way for you to get the full impact of my interpretation without me standing in front of you to give you the sound effets.) The second time I heard it I had to bend down and put my hands on my knees to get my breath back. That's how hard I was laughing. Seriously. When put upon for an explanation I had to describe what I just saw in the theater of the mind. Picture an attractive young girl standing in the middle of a cow pasture. (This is the actual girl in our show, so you can't REALLY picture her until I post something up here.) Honking. That's the only word I can use to describe the sound that comes to my mind. Off in the corner of the pasture are two giant bulls, horns, nose rings and all, crying quietly. One bull wipes a tear out of the corner of his eye saying, "oh man, that takes me back." For some reason during rehearsals this kind of thing springs to my mind EVERY THREE SECONDS.

Mind you, these are all blocking rehearsals. I hate them. They're necessary, but so is proctology and I don't know anyone who's marked on their calendar "proctology appointment" and put a smiley face next to it. So to ease the pain, I am the laughing gas.

I'd also like to say that this is a phenomenally well cast show. It's never easy to cast well in community theater. Lately it seems even harder around here. This show, everyone is doing super well in their roles. Originally I was mildly disappointed not to get the lead, but the more I watch the cast the more I realize I am exactly where I need to be, and maybe I was just caught up in the "gotta get the lead" race. Which is stupid.

Oh yeah, you can find information about our performances here. So if you're in the neighborhood of Western Massachusetts in April, come see a great show.

Almost finished reading Contact. I loved the movie, but man, did they get it wrong. I watched it recently to make sure and yeah, they got it wrong.

Random randomness

I have to remind myself to update this thing more often. It's kind of hypocritical of me to go bullshit over someone else leaving their blog neglected when I can't be bothered to update my own.

So, for the both of you who are reading...

I recently updated my recording hardware. I got this. It's a smaller hardware version of the stuff I used to use, but insanely more robust software. ProTools. Pretty much the standard for computer based music production. (Please, no flame wars, everybody has their own opinion.) The learning curve this time around has been incredible. So much stuff.

So, yeah, I'm kind of a musician. Not like professional or anything. Haven't been in a band in years, but I love writing my own stuff and don't really care if no one ever hears it. So I'm willing to fork over a ton of cash for all these expensive toys.

Of course, I should also be working on more of the seven other projects I have going on.

The Crucible is going well. Fairly soon the off book stuff will start to come around. Mostly I'm still trying to turn it into a one-man comedy show. Many thanks to the extraordinary patience of the cast and director for not killing me. Sometimes the shit that bubbles up to the surface I just can't keep in. (In my mind, apparently, witch hunts are hilarious.)

I was tapped to run a camera for a training video for some corporate thing. I learned several things:

A) running a live camera is BORING. I'd much rather shoot a narrative.
B) corporate America pays a lot of money to send people to seminars so they can learn the obvious.
C) beer is so much better after spending a day shooting boring talkin-bout-nuthin all day long.

Overheard in a bar last night, "Dear broccoli, why do you look like a cartoon fart?" I totally heard that. I wanted to check and see if I was mistaken, maybe I just heard it wrong. I was getting out of my seat to inquire about the accuracy of my hearing when I realized I didn't WANT to know if I heard it wrong. And really, what kind of an explanation can you get that justifies a statement like that? No, I thought, better leave it alone. I'd rather sit here and contemplate, muse, and wonder about broccoli lookin like...well, you know, than hear that it was something innocuous.

Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny. Hm. I liked the HBO special better. But the extras are totally worth the price.